As reluctant as I am to admit this, I sometimes cringe when I hear someone teach about prayer. Sermons about prayer are convicting to me, particularly because prayer is something I often struggle with in my Christian life. But I think I’m not the only one who struggles to develop and maintain a consistent, healthy prayer life.
Have you ever felt like you just can’t pray… or don’t want to? Like the world around you is in chaos but you cannot do anything about it—not even pray? Do you try to pray but fail to come up with any words to express your earnest desires, your sincere gratitude, or your deepest fears? Do you commit a block of time for prayer but allow drowsiness and distractions to creep in and steer your attention toward less important things?
I’ve Been There.
Did you know that Jesus’ disciples struggled to pray, too? Matthew 26 recounts Jesus’ instruction to the disciples in Gethsemane: “And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matt. 26:40-41 KJV).
Consistent, fervent prayer is a vital component of a healthy Christian life (Eph. 6:18; Phil. 4:6; 1 Tim. 2:1; James 5:16). Scripture exhorts us to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5:17). So, what should we do when we feel like we just can’t pray—when “the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matt. 26:41)?
Remember Who God Is.
In Psalm 18, David commences his prayer in humble recognition of who God is:
“I will love thee, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.” – Psalm 18:1-2
In His example prayer in Matthew 6:9-13 and Luke 11:2-4, Jesus begins by acknowledging the authority and holiness of the Father: “Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed by thy name.”
Hannah, in 1 Samuel 2:1-10, prayed, professing that “there is none holy as the LORD: for there is none beside [Him]: neither is there any rock like our God. . . . for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed” (1 Sam. 2:2-3).
When you feel like you cannot pray, remember who God is. God’s Word—especially the Psalms—provides countless descriptions of His character and His attributes. Meditate on them. Remembering truths about who God is—such as His majesty, goodness, holiness, authority, mercy, omniscience, grace, strength, and love—can prepare your heart to humbly draw near to Him in prayer.
Remember What God Has Done.
Psalm 107 recounts God’s faithfulness to His people. Despite Israel and Judah’s recurring rebellion against the Lord, He continually showed mercy and delivered them. When you read this Psalm, notice the repetition of the following verses: “Then they cried unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them out of their distresses” (13) and “Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!” (8).
Whom do we turn to in our distresses? How often do we praise the Lord for His goodness to us? Do we truly understand and appreciate God’s steadfast lovingkindness (Ps. 107:43)?
When you feel like you can’t pray, remember what God has done (Ps. 105:5). For example, He redeemed “thy life from destruction” and crowned “thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies” (Ps. 103:4). When you recollect what God has already done for you, it becomes easier to trust that He is “able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think” (Eph. 3:20).
Remember Who You Are.
When we remember who God is and get a fresh glimpse of His glory, we will also grow more aware of our sinfulness and unworthiness to be in His presence (Isa. 6:1-5). Awareness of God’s glory should give us a reverent fear of God as well as a spirit of humility and confession (Ps. 51:1-2).
Even as Christians, we often feel like our sin obstructs our access to God. But according to Hebrews 4:14-16, we can “come boldly unto the throne of grace” and “obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” Likewise, 1 John 1:9 promises that “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” If you truly are God’s child, you have an eternal relationship with the God of the universe and possess the incredible privilege to speak to your heavenly Father at any moment. Nothing can take that away, “for through [Christ Jesus] we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father” (Eph. 2:18).
It is important here to distinguish our fellowship with God from our relationship with God. Sin can break our fellowship with God (Ps. 66:18-20), just as the disobedience of a child hinders right fellowship with his father, but the child remains in the family regardless of his actions. Likewise, because God’s acceptance of us is grounded in the finished work of Jesus Christ, our actions do not determine our position in God’s family. Once God has adopted you into His spiritual family, you will always be His child; nothing will ever break your relationship with Him (Jn. 5:10-13; 6:37; 10:28). Our fellowship with God is restored through His immediate forgiveness and cleansing when we confess our sins (1 Jn. 1:9; Ps. 51:17).
Dear brother or sister in Christ, when you feel too unworthy to pray, remember who you are. You are God’s beloved child, and He longs for you to draw near to Him. Like the father in Luke 15:20, your heavenly Father accepts you as His son or daughter and is always ready to welcome and embrace you with His open arms. Come to your Father just as you are; nothing can separate you from His unconditional, everlasting love (Rom. 8:35-39).
Recognize Your Weakness and Rely on His Strength.
As humans, we all experience the existent battle between the flesh and Spirit. Like Paul in Romans 7:18-25, we all wrestle between the good our spirit desires to do and the bad our flesh gives into. And like Christ’s disciples in Matthew 26:40-41, we all have those moments when “the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Truly, we are weak, but our God is strong. The apostle Paul expresses his reliance upon God’s strength in light of his weakness when he says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 that he would gladly “glory in [his] infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon [him].”
How do we respond to this regarding prayer? Even when it’s hard to pray, recognize your weakness and rely on God’s strength. Because God already knows that you need His strength, He promises that “they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength” (Isa. 40:31). Isaiah 40:29 says that “He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.”
God is stronger than the distractions that try to steal our attention; seek to lean into God’s strength to resist those temptations when you pray.
Surrender and Yield to the Holy Spirit.
It’s okay not to know what to say when you pray. Jesus said that “your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.” Paul writes in Romans 8:26 that “the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” So, even when you don’t know what to say, surrender and yield to the Holy Spirit.
Ask the Holy Spirit to intercede with the Father on behalf of those whom you’re praying for (Eph. 6:18). Ask for God’s will to be done (Matt. 6:10; 26:39).
A prayer of selfless surrender may feel painful at first, but it is worth it. Because God’s will is “good, and acceptable, and perfect” (Rom. 12:2), it is something to look forward to, not something to be afraid of. Trust in the goodness of God, knowing that your Father who knows exactly what you need gives only good gifts (Matt. 7:11; Jm. 1:17).
Give Thanks.
Have you ever experienced the joy and hope gratitude brings amidst trying circumstances? In Lamentations 3, Jeremiah expresses gratitude in the midst of suffering when he says, “This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness” (Lam. 3:21-23).
When you feel like you can’t pray, give thanks (Ps. 107:1; 1 Thess. 5:18). Hebrews 13:15 exhorts us to “offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name” (emphasis added). Do our attitudes reflect a spirit of humility and gratitude or are we too busy in life just to slow down and give thanks to God for His goodness, for His protection, for His provision?
Conclusion
If you are struggling with prayer in your Christian life, I urge you to take a moment to evaluate your mindset. Are you focused inward, outward, or upward? Do you have an attitude of thanksgiving or dissatisfaction? What is your priority, and whom are you relying on? What thoughts are you meditating on throughout the day? What (or whom) are you putting your identity and hope in? Is there something you’re clinging to that you need to surrender to God? What is holding you back from communing with your good, loving, ever-present Father?
I also encourage you to begin praying Scripture. Rather than merely reading a passage during your quiet time or devotions, make it a prayer from your own heart. Praying Scripture will always point our attention to God and help us avoid “ask[ing] amiss” (Jm. 4:3). The following is a list of sample passages to guide you as you pray: Psalms 3, 8, 16, 18, 19, 23, 25, 27, 30, 34, 40, 42, 51, 56, 61, 63, 86, 90, 102, 103, 115, 136, 139, 143, 145, 147.
“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7
